I met one guy and got involved with him . . . only to realize a few months later that he behaved almost exactly like my ex.
Does this sound familiar?
Well, I took it as a prank from the universe and moved on.
But then it got even worse.
All the other guys I met were exactly the same!
They all behaved in a similar way. Brilliant, charming and loving at the beginning . . .
Cold, distant and passive after a few months!
They all had different bodies - but told the same jokes!
This is when it became clear to me that all men were the same.
All of them wanted only one thing - and when they got it, they lost interest.
Just like kids who are excited when they get a new toy . . . only to toss it away and forget about it 2 weeks later!
That’s why I became convinced there were no good men left out there anymore.
I spent months cultivating these beliefs and crying into that pillow when I figured that maybe I was missing something.
Maybe I had to dress differently?
Maybe there was something I said that attracted such types of men?
And maybe it had to do with my vibration? With my energy?
Maybe I had to change something in order to finally “attract” the right guy?
I had to find out
So I bought dozens of relationship books and courses. I went to see therapists and took a few sessions of relationship coaching.
I followed their advice and supported my efforts with different spiritual techniques.
Because spirituality is something that has always been with me. And I always deeply believed it’s a much bigger part of our lives than we all dare to think.
So I practiced the law of attraction . . . affirmations . . . raising my vibration . . . belief-elimination processes . . .
I did it all.
I believed in the beautiful promises of my teachers and gurus.
I saw the stories of women who used these techniques and changed their relationships . . .
But I saw no change whatsoever
And this is when it hit me - the only thing left was that there must be something wrong with me.
I must be broken.
And this became the nail in my coffin.
After so many dismal failures and disappointments, I lost all hope.
I was so scared of going through the same relationship hell again, I completely surrendered.
I became convinced that I could never be happy again - and that I would die alone.
As you may imagine . . .
My life fell into tiny pieces
I had a really hard time keeping up with work and earning enough money.
My friends stopped coming over because I was always moaning and talking about how unhappy I was . . .
Even my son stopped visiting me, because I became moody and toxic.
And you know . . . I didn’t even cry anymore.
I felt so empty . . .
Like my soul had died and only my “zombie body” somehow stayed alive.
Everything was black and white. No colors.
No smile on my face.
My body looked old.
I gained weight.
The pitch-black emptiness was eating me alive.
And I didn’t even "scream" for help . . .
Because I was convinced there was no way out of this dreadful limbo.
There was only one last spark of light left in my life.
My best friend.
She never gave up on me - even when I did.
She was crazy deep in spirituality. And just like me, she also found that she never got what she really wanted - despite all the effort she made.
But instead of developing depression as I did, she developed a burning passion to find out WHY.
She is one heck of a curious soul!
So one day, she came over and dragged me out for a walk . . .